Discernment Counseling

Deciding whether or not to stay in a marriage or get divorced can be one of the most difficult and agonizing decisions you face in life. For many couples, this state of limbo (should I stay or should I go) can last months or even years. Discernment counseling is an assessment process that was created to help partners decide between three outcomes: to work on improving the relationship (often with couples counseling), to maintain the current relationship as is, or to get divorced. Unlike traditional couples counseling, which is typically open-ended and can last for years, discernment counseling is generally brief and typically completed in 3-5 sessions. Think this approach could work for you and your partner(s)? Reach out to one of TherapyDen’s discernment counseling experts today. 

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I'm a certified Discernment Counselor who helps couples unsure about their relationship's future. Through our sessions, we'll explore the issues that have brought you to this point, and I'll help you to understand the dynamics of your relationship and to make an informed decision about the best path forward. I aim to help you and your partner find clarity, peace of mind, and the confidence to make the right decision for both of you.

— Dr. Tom Murray, Sex and Relationship Therapist, Sex Therapist in Greensboro, NC

If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, Discernment Counseling is designed for you. I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health or move toward divorce. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

— Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones, Psychologist in Durham, NC
 

I have studied the theory and worked with multiple couples at varying stages of discernment with different outcomes. I find this model to be instrumental with couples in which one partner is "one foot out" while the other partner is "hanging on to the final thread." It is critical that they get on the same path before attempting couples therapy, and Discernment Counseling is an excellent model to determine if that is possible.

— Sherri Davidson, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Marysville, WA

Discernment counseling is a short-term model designed to assist couples on the brink. The goal of this intervention is to develope clarity about the marriage, secure confidence in moving forward, and understanding of the role each partner has contributed to the struggle. These goals are obtained by focusing on three specific pathways: path 1. Remaining in the marriage without change, path 2. Separation or divorce, path 3. Commitment to a course of 6 months of couples therapy.

— Joseph Winn, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Concord, MA
 

Trained and working towards certification with Dr. Bill Dougherty in helping couples decide to work on their relationship.

— Traci Ruble, Marriage & Family Therapist in , CA
 

Discernment Counseling isn't therapy. The discernment process is meant to provide you with clarity and confidence about a direction for your relationship based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in your relationship as well exploring the possibilities for the future. Discernment counseling is brief- just 1-5 sessions; and goal-directed, meaning there's no time to waste. If you're stuck and uncertain of the future. Discernment counseling can help.

— Mark Cagle, Counselor in Dallas, TX

Discernment Counseling is for couples thinking about divorce but don't know if they should. It is a highly structured process that gives them clarity on how their relationship got to where it's at now and points out exactly what would need to change in order to feel happier in the relationship. It asks both partners to take accountability. What I love about Discernment Counseling is how effective just one session can be!

— Corrin Voeller, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in St. Louis Park, MN
 

If you're struggling with your marriage and uncertain about the future, I understand how difficult that can be. You haven’t agreed to end your relationship, but you haven’t decided to stay together either. When one or both partners is seriously considering separation or divorce, discernment counseling can help. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO

Discernment counseling is a new, very brief, targeted type of therapy for couples who are considering splitting up. Our goal is to find clarity and confidence about how to proceed. We don't try to solve your problems as a couple in discernment counseling. We determine whether your problems are solvable. One possible outcome is choosing to enter couples therapy together, but we don't assume that is the right path for you. I have extensive training in discernment counseling.

— Gretta Duleba, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in , WA
 

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is“leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage. I am a certified Discernment Counselor.

— Hannah Holwell, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Wayzata, MN

I have worked with couples who are at a crossroad in their marriage determine next steps for their relationship. Discernment counseling helps couples decide whether or not to end their marriage. This approach can be particularly effective when one partner wants to leave the relationship, but the other wants to remain together. Within one to five sessions, the therapist helps the couple determine if they would like the marriage to remain as is, commit to 6 months marriage counseling, or divorce.

— Shari Anderson, Marriage and Family Therapist Associate in Nashville, TN
 

Discernment Counseling is designed for the couple who is experiencing divorce or breakup ambivalence. The goal of Discernment Counseling is to create greater clarity, confidence, and understanding about how to proceed in making a decision about the future of the relationship.

— Camila Flores, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Intern in San Antonio, TX

In discernment counseling, I provide a neutral, supportive environment for couples who are unsure about the future of their relationship. My approach helps each partner explore their feelings, gain clarity, and identify the best path forward—whether that’s working to improve the relationship or deciding to part ways. With respect and empathy, I guide couples through the decision-making process, empowering them to make a thoughtful, informed choice about their future.

— Karrion Lalor Carr, Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta, GA