Discernment Counseling

Deciding whether or not to stay in a marriage or get divorced can be one of the most difficult and agonizing decisions you face in life. For many couples, this state of limbo (should I stay or should I go) can last months or even years. Discernment counseling is an assessment process that was created to help partners decide between three outcomes: to work on improving the relationship (often with couples counseling), to maintain the current relationship as is, or to get divorced. Unlike traditional couples counseling, which is typically open-ended and can last for years, discernment counseling is generally brief and typically completed in 3-5 sessions. Think this approach could work for you and your partner(s)? Reach out to one of TherapyDen’s discernment counseling experts today. 

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I'm a certified Discernment Counselor who helps couples unsure about their relationship's future. Through our sessions, we'll explore the issues that have brought you to this point, and I'll help you to understand the dynamics of your relationship and to make an informed decision about the best path forward. I aim to help you and your partner find clarity, peace of mind, and the confidence to make the right decision for both of you.

— Dr. Tom Murray, Sex and Relationship Therapist, Sex Therapist in Greensboro, NC

If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, Discernment Counseling is designed for you. I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health or move toward divorce. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

— Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones, Psychologist in Durham, NC
 

If you're struggling with your marriage and uncertain about the future, I understand how difficult that can be. You haven’t agreed to end your relationship, but you haven’t decided to stay together either. When one or both partners is seriously considering separation or divorce, discernment counseling can help. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO

Trained and working towards certification with Dr. Bill Dougherty in helping couples decide to work on their relationship.

— Traci Ruble, Marriage & Family Therapist in , CA
 

If you're struggling with your marriage and uncertain about the future, I understand how difficult that can be. You haven’t agreed to end your relationship, but you haven’t decided to stay together either. When one or both partners is seriously considering separation or divorce, discernment counseling can help. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO

I have worked with couples who are at a crossroad in their marriage determine next steps for their relationship. Discernment counseling helps couples decide whether or not to end their marriage. This approach can be particularly effective when one partner wants to leave the relationship, but the other wants to remain together. Within one to five sessions, the therapist helps the couple determine if they would like the marriage to remain as is, commit to 6 months marriage counseling, or divorce.

— Shari Anderson, Marriage and Family Therapist Associate in Nashville, TN
 

Discernment Counseling isn't therapy. The discernment process is meant to provide you with clarity and confidence about a direction for your relationship based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in your relationship as well exploring the possibilities for the future. Discernment counseling is brief- just 1-5 sessions; and goal-directed, meaning there's no time to waste. If you're stuck and uncertain of the future. Discernment counseling can help.

— Mark Cagle, Counselor in Dallas, TX
 

As a therapist who practices discernment counseling, my focus is on helping couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship gain clarity and make informed decisions. Rather than assuming that the goal of therapy is to save the relationship, I acknowledge that not all relationships are meant to be saved. Instead, I work with clients to explore the underlying reasons for their uncertainty and the factors that may be contributing to the challenges they are facing.

— Regina Abayev, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Hermosa Beach, CA

Discernment Counseling is for couples on the brink. It is a chance to make space to look at your options for your marriage, without working on the relationship. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. I will work with each of you to help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

— Rosemary Senjem, Marriage & Family Therapist in Stillwater, MN
 

Discernment Counseling was developed for couples who are on the fence about staying in their marriage. In these cases, typically one person wants to stay married and work on salvaging the relationship, while the other partner feels like divorce or separation is the only option. This intensive, short-term process helps both partners gain clarity around the immensely painful and difficult decision around taking steps to preserve the relationship or taking steps toward ending the marriage.

— Trisha Andrews, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Parker, CO
 

This is a specific therapy for couples who are contemplating separation or divorce. You may be unsure about whether you want to stay in their marriage or whether traditional couples therapy can work for you. Each partner may be experiencing different feelings about what to do, and this supports both parties as they work through their feelings (together and individually). Some goals include getting clearer, managing emotions, learning about yourself.

— Laura Evans, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Austin, TX

Discernment Counseling is 1-5 sessions (in person in WA or virtual). I help couples gain clarity about the problems in their relationship and each person's contributions to those problems while also exploring the next best path (path 1-status quo/keep things as is, path 2-separation or divorce, path 3-couples therapy). Once a path is chosen clients often choose to meet an additional time to plan for their chosen path. I am certified with the Doherty Institute as a discernment counselor.

— Faith Franz, Counselor in Oak Harbor, WA
 

This is a specific therapy for couples who are contemplating separation or divorce. You may be unsure about whether you want to stay in their marriage or whether traditional couples therapy can work for you. Each partner may be experiencing different feelings about what to do, and this supports both parties as they work through their feelings (together and individually). Some goals include getting clearer, managing emotions, and learning about yourself and relationships.

— Laura Evans, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Austin, TX

Are you or your partner unsure if you want to continue your marriage? Are you willing to have open conversations with your partner. With discernment counseling you and your partner can decide together your next relationship steps

— Cassandra Bogle, Clinical Social Worker