Abigail Sassano

As a therapist in an intensive outpatient program for teens, my clients were, almost without exception, the scapegoat of the family. These highly intuitive and perceptive people picked up on subtle dynamics and unspoken truths. Often noticing them long before others around them were able to acknowledge them, they felt isolated and wondered if they were crazy or if there was something wrong with them.

Unspoken trauma and unhealthy relationship patterns are carried down from one generation to the next. The burdens of the past coexist with current abusive and coercive relationships. Without insight into what is occurring, these situations become overwhelming and debilitating. With clarity, it's possible to act in the now in subtle, but powerful ways that cause alignment and healthy relating, thus setting healthy patterns for generations to come.

Incarceration and other types of involvement with the penal system cause harm that can be more hurtful than other forms of abuse. This is because it carries a perception of legitimacy and a process for continual re-injury. People deserve support in seeing their value and contributions clearly, as well as in assimilating a view of the world that has been permanently altered.

Our society is currently oriented to a model of punishment, which often shows up as the withholding of affection and approval. Not only does this cause a great deal of harm, it's completely ineffective in solving problems and resolving conflict. Unconditional positive regard, on the other hand, is the commitment to a person's well-being, no matter how they show up.

Our health and well-being is largely determined by the cohesion of the groups that we belong to. By understanding relationship patterns and taking a balanced and neutral approach, it's possible to heal relationships.

Unresolved trauma is the cause of many problems, including addiction, illness, and violence. Fortunately, trauma can be healed.