Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Perhaps you seek a “coming home” to yourself in a way that feels safe & meaningful. Perhaps you long to understand yourself in relationships or in the world around you where you consider your needs as much as those around you. Being a people pleaser can lead to compassion fatigue and burnout. I am honored to walk alongside you as we explore and process all that you hold within you. You are allowed to let go, breathe and prioritize your wellbeing.

— Sabrina Samedi, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Westlake Village, CA

Codependency is a learned pattern of behavior that starts in childhood but often becomes no longer helpful or even harmful in adulthood. Common codependent behaviors include denying one's thoughts or feelings; giving too much of one's time, energy, or money; being too identified as a caretaker or giver in relationships, and a culminating exhaustion and fatigue. I can work with you to address each of these life-restricting symptoms and learn how to get your life back.

— Ross Kellogg, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA
 

Knowing one's own desires, thoughts, and feelings is not a skill that all of us are taught in childhood. Therapy is a place to explore your truth in a kind, safe and empathic environment. Paying close attention to your emotional life will lead to a better understanding of yourself in relation to others. Becoming curious about your internal landscape will lead to a stronger sense of self.

— Jessica Heinfeld, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Do you have trouble with people pleasing? Always focusing on external issues or everyone else’s issues which leads to you ignoring your own needs or being able to care for yourself? I can help! We will work together to understand your relationships throughout your life to understand what led you to this place and work to chip away to build healthy boundaries and how to learn or relearn how to care for your own needs and wants.

— Emmily Weldon, Counselor in Fort Lauderdale, FL
 

Modern (western) society has a warped view of love and romance that convinces most of us from an early age that codependency is synonymous with "love" leading to years - sometimes entire lifetimes - of anxiety, confusion, jealousy and emotional angst. I provide a safe, non-judgmental space within which clients vulnerably explore the discomforts that come with the recognition of the effects of codependency within their lives.

— Dylan Haas, Mental Health Counselor in Boise, ID

All of us deserve to have healthy, satisfying romantic relationships. Unfortunately for those of us who never had good role models for these kinds of relationships, we end up in patterns of codependency, which can cause a lot of pain. Therapy can be very useful for healing codependency.

— Paley Burlin, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Associate in Seattle, WA
 

Codependency involves sacrificing your needs for the needs of other people in your life. It's when there's a shift in focus from you to others. Codependency occurs in unhealthy and unbalanced relationships and you may feel like to need to save others. Codependency counseling can help you develop healthy boundaries in relationships, learn strategies to increase you individual self-esteem and autonomy and build coping mechanisms for separation and individuation.

— Daria Stepanian, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Codependency is the worst! Am I right? When you fall in love with someone you want to feel excited and happy and filled with optimism. You don't want to feel anxious and nervous and obsessed with when you'll see them next or how much they really like you. I want to talk to you if codependent feelings have been haunting you you're whole life. Together we can figure out where they are coming from and why they keep popping up. I've got tons of tools and techniques for coping with your codependent feelings. Our goal will be to leave your codependent experiences in the past so that you can enjoy falling in love and feel a lot more secure in your relationships.

— Jeff Guenther, Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, OR
 

Hiding Parts of Who You Are Over-Commitment to Basically Anything Not Feeling Good Enough or Capable Enough People-Pleasing Behaviors Comparing Anything/Everything & “Falling Short” Perfectionist Expectations Inflexible Thinking (Either/Or Thinking) Struggling to Identify How You Feel “Taking On” the Emotional Experiences of Others as Your Own

— Jennifer Gray, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in Portland, OR

I am trained in Pia Mellody's 5 Core Areas of the Self as a treatment model for codependency. These areas are: Boundaries, Self-love, Self-care, Owning your reality (thoughts, feelings, & needs), & Expressing your reality moderately (without shutting down or anger outbursts).

— Kirstin Carl, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Encino, CA
 

Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

I specialize in work around codependency and family of origin issues. I am familiar with more specific 12-step recovery programs around codependency, including Al-Anon, Coda, SLAA, and Adult Children of Alcoholics.

— Heather Beller, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Chicago, IL

Created and lead a relational codependency program and group, that was very successful. Can work one-on-one through the program, finding ways for clients to set boundaries with strength, increase self-esteem, and deepen relationships without enmeshment.

— Lauren Ogren, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Rafael, CA
 

This is a term that I don't use because I find a more accurate description of codependency is one that recognizes its roots in attachment wounds that often play out in family dynamics. Framing the boundary issues, emotional needs, relationship dynamics and control struggles that are common in co-dependency helps target the underlying and often wordless coping mechanisms and triggers that aid in treatment.

— Meira Greenfeld, Psychotherapist in Phoenix, AZ

YOUR FEELINGS MATTER. Your feelings point to your needs. You are not responsible for the feelings of others. Your natural care for others may be more fun when you are free from the impossible responsibility of managing their feelings. YOUR NEEDS MATTER. Let's take a fresh look at any obstacles to honoring your needs. Let's help you clarify your needs. Let's help you speak up for yourself in ways that work for you and also honor the needs of others.

— Carlyle Stewart, Counselor in Asheville, NC
 

I help clients set and maintain boundaries to establish healthy interdependence in relationships.

— Kirsten Cannon, Counselor in Memphis, TN

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ
 

Often the byproduct of the environment we grew up in, recognizing how the patterns and behaviors that once provided us safety no longer serve us is one of the first steps to breaking this pattern. Slowly, we can start to alter these responses to the point that they are no longer our reflexive response. This often goes hand in hand with working on self worth.

— David Cogdell, Licensed Professional Counselor