Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Codependency is getting needs met by meeting the needs of others. While this may not sound so bad at first, this pattern has the potential to cause wreckage in our personal experience in relationships, our career, etc. Counseling around codependent behaviors focuses on identifying my clients needs and supporting my client in getting their own needs met.

— Suzanne Cooper, Addictions Counselor in Englewood, CO, CO

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Licensed Professional Counselor in Tempe, AZ
 

I teach my clients to recognize and accept emotions they may have repressed, and help them understand why codependent patterns developed in their past and how these patterns have transferred to other relationships. You can begin to stand up for yourself, say "no," and have healthier relationships in all areas of your life.

— Cara Waters, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in ,

Codependency is often misunderstood but if you know the feeling of white-hot resentment toward people in your life who have taken you for granted or never seem to reciprocate the time and effort you put into relationships you might have some codependent traits. I help clients dive into boundaries within relationships so they can find some peace.

— Amy Goins, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in Dallas, TX
 

If you have trouble with needing to externally focus on other and have a hard time focusing on and caring for yourself, I can help. I have worked with many individuals to help them to reconnect with their wants, needs and learn to keep the focus on themselves.

— Celine Redfield, Marriage & Family Therapist in Portland, OR

Having boundaries, saying now, and advocating for ourselves is difficult. This is especially true for highly sensitive individuals, women, and particularly sensitive women in male-dominated fields. I love supporting my clients in accessing their voice, their strength, and finding connection through differentiation.

— Devin Bard, Licensed Professional Counselor in Minneapolis, MN
 

I help girls and women navigate their inner knowing within themselves. Through this awareness we look at areas and relationships within their lives where they are holding back their thoughts, beliefs, feelings and ideas from others to protect themselves and their relationships from rupture or conflict. We will work together to find ways that feel good and safe to express what is true and heal harmful codependent patterns.

— Rachael Rosenberg, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los altos, CA

When your relationship with someone you love demands more from you than you understand how to give, it can be difficult to maintain boundaries that allow you to feel like your own needs can be met in the relationship. It can often feel like you are not aware anymore of what your own needs are. When loved ones struggle with addiction or other mental health problems, codependency is the result of having a relationship with them and this can be managed so you can be well, even if they are not.

— Lauren Hadley, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Campbell, CA
 

Relationships are many things: and complex is one of them. It can take active effort for us to notice patterns we may be playing out in our friendships, romantic connections, situationships, and even in our work relationships that may be harming us, or not inline with the person we'd like to be. The good news is that noticing is the first step! Together, we can explore where these patterns come from, and how you imagine they could be different. Small shifts can create big change.

— Adrian Eraslan, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Oakland, CA

It's hard to fault someone for being compassionate, caring or kind. Too often, other prey or take advantage our kindness and giving spirit. Inadvertently, we give away our power and then find life sometimes hopeless. Learn how to regain your sense of self- respect, security and independence. I utilize CBT therapy to rewire our brain changing our thoughts. Changing our thoughts changes how we think and feel best altering our actions.

— Barbara Beck, Marriage & Family Therapist in Leawood, KS
 

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

— Kellie Rice, Psychologist in Chicago, IL

Many people grow up in a chaotic home environment where healthy boundaries did not exist and where you were forced to be hypervigilant in order to keep the peace, maintain harmony, or appease a violent or unpredictable authority figure. As a result you struggle with maintaining your boundaries as an adult. Perhaps you constantly put others' needs before your own, are stretched too thin and become resentful, and you don't know where you end and others begin. I can help.

— Grace Yeh, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Cedar Park, TX
 

Those suffering from codependency may be feeling like they have to give up themselves in order to make the relationship work. Often times you may put the other person's needs ahead of your own because if you don't the other person may realize they don't love you and leave you. You may have thoughts of "If I am not helpful, useful, or what my partner needs me to be then they are going to leave me" These are all scary thoughts! We can unpack them in a safe space together.

— Joshua Bogart, Professional Counselor Associate in Beaverton, OR

I help clients set and maintain boundaries to establish healthy interdependence in relationships.

— Kirsten Cannon, Counselor in Memphis, TN
 

When you give so much of yourself to others, it can feel like you lose parts of yourself in the process You might find it difficult to set boundaries or voice your true inner feelings. Together, you can learn to recognize and honor your inner voice, trust your intuition, and integrate the different parts of yourself enabling you to live life more fully and authentic to who you are.

— Lindsay Anderson, Professional Counselor Associate in , OR

When you give so much of yourself to others, it can feel like you lose parts of yourself in the process You might find it difficult to set boundaries or voice your true inner feelings. Together, you can learn to recognize and honor your inner voice, trust your intuition, and integrate the different parts of yourself enabling you to live life more fully and authentic to who you are.

— Lindsay Anderson, Professional Counselor Associate in , OR
 

I have enjoyed being able to work with people on their issues of codependency towards healthy relationships. I will be an advocate for your self-discovery and independent growth, so that you can find yourself with greater insight into your patterns, rather than wait for someone else to tell you what is "wrong with you" and then "fix you." We will discuss independence of identity, worth, self-respect, and boundaries.

— Matthew Taylor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New Smyrna Beach, FL