Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Have you been feeling anxious, depressed, or find that you have a hard time saying no to people? Do you find that you often end up feeling like you need to help or fix a loved one's problems? Do you struggle with boundaries, people pleasing and unbalanced relationships? You don't have to do this alone. Having a therapist that's experienced in codependency treatment will support you in addressing underlying issues that have been keeping you stuck.

— Jennifer Leupp, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Long Beach, CA

Do you spend too much time thinking about other people? Are your needs usually on the back-burner because you are worried about the needs of others in your life? Do you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If any of this resonates with you, you may have difficulty prioritizing your own needs and setting healthy boundaries in your relationships. Let’s work together to establish (or re-establish) a healthy relationship with yourself.

— Bianca Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta,

Codependency is often defined in different ways. I see codependency as a pervasive, unconscious relationship pattern where one prioritizes the needs of others and/or attempts to control the emotional dynamic of a situation to feel safe. Examples include enabling an addicted partner, being unwilling to set social boundaries with friends, or always going with “the flow” when you want something else.

— Courtney Terrell, Counselor in Fishers, IN

I am drawn to support women who are dealing with co-dependency, low self-esteem, perfectionism, challenges with romantic relationships and career/work challenges.

— Margarita Prensa, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in New York, NY

Many of us struggle with Codependency. It can be a life long journey. I focus on identifying why you people please, have a difficult time saying no and struggle with your self-worth. My approach is narrative therapy, codependency is rooted in our childhood. I encourage you to tell your story, not what was told to you. I also include CBT and strength based therapy.

— Antonia Johnson, Clinical Social Worker in , GA

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY

Do you struggle with interpersonal boundaries either finding yourself with no boundaries getting hurt often or putting up walls and feeling the pain of isolation? Do you find that you hold resentment, have distorted/nonexistent spirituality, avoid reality (e.g. through addictions), or have a hard time with sustaining intimacy with others? I provide a safe, nurturing environment where we can gently explore these areas to create new experiences with oneself and one’s past.

— Addie Michlitsch, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Roseville, MN

Signs of codependency include: Difficulty making decisions in a relationship Difficulty identifying your feelings Difficulty communicating in a relationship Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others

— Janie Trowbridge, Licensed Professional Counselor in ,

I have first hand knowledge of what it’s like living with the effects of someone else’s alcoholism/substance use, as well as identifying codependent personality traits. Healing from codependency requires developing a healthy relationship with yourself, by putting yourself first, learning to identify what your needs are, and setting healthy boundaries.

— Alisa Ibragimova, Counselor in Forest Hills, NY

At its root, codependency is a struggle with valuing the self and in knowing what it means to set boundaries with others. We can often feel confused by feeling selfish if we value ourselves, or mean if we set boundaries. It can be helpful to have someone work through these confusing thoughts and feelings toward a way of being where we know who we are and how to care for others without compromising a core sense of self.

— Joseph Hovemeyer, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Sierra Madre, CA

I am Meadows Model and PIT trained in co-dependency and co-dependency recovery. I worked in a Meadows facility for nearly two years were I provided ongoing codependency treatment to individuals living with trauma and addiction.

— Alexandra Ludovina, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Sunnyvale, CA

Understanding one’s wants and needs in relationships; exploring patterns of interaction; addressing concerns; speaking up for what you want in a constructive way; being seen and heard; and strengthening satisfaction in relationships.

— Marcelle Little, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Early childhood trauma can resurface in intimate relationships, and can manifest as codependent behavior patterns. I help clients develop self-compassion and awareness to break toxic relationship cycles.

— Angela Allan, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Oakland, CA

I utilize psychoeducation and cognitive behavioral therapeutic approaches to provide insight on how dysfunctional family dynamics from childhood made you develop maladaptive/codependent patterns to survive due to experiencing attachment trauma. The codependent patterns are now hurting the quality of your relationships and your life. By learning healthy coping skills, you will improve the quality of the relationship to yourself and others. I also use Attachment-Trauma Therapy.

— Silvana Ramirez, Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Fort Lauderdale, FL

Working with substance use disorders for the past decade the two go hand and hand. Recognizing how experiences from childhood have resulted in maladaptive coping mechanisms, negative core beliefs, and the process of healing and replacing with healthy boundaries, effective communication, changed thought processes, resulting in increased self-esteem and self-worth.

— Denae Arnold, Licensed Professional Counselor in Wheatridge, CO

Codependency is getting needs met by meeting the needs of others. While this may not sound so bad at first, this pattern has the potential to cause wreckage in our personal experience in relationships, our career, etc. Counseling around codependent behaviors focuses on identifying my clients needs and supporting my client in getting their own needs met.

— Suzanne Cooper, Licensed Professional Counselor in Littleton, CO

Codependency is the worst! Am I right? When you fall in love with someone you want to feel excited and happy and filled with optimism. You don't want to feel anxious and nervous and obsessed with when you'll see them next or how much they really like you. I want to talk to you if codependent feelings have been haunting you you're whole life. Together we can figure out where they are coming from and why they keep popping up. I've got tons of tools and techniques for coping with your codependent feelings. Our goal will be to leave your codependent experiences in the past so that you can enjoy falling in love and feel a lot more secure in your relationships.

— Jeff Guenther, Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, OR

Hiding Parts of Who You Are Over-Commitment to Basically Anything Not Feeling Good Enough or Capable Enough People-Pleasing Behaviors Comparing Anything/Everything & “Falling Short” Perfectionist Expectations Inflexible Thinking (Either/Or Thinking) Struggling to Identify How You Feel “Taking On” the Emotional Experiences of Others as Your Own

— Jennifer Gray, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in Portland, OR

I write, study, and lead groups and workshops on codependency. I have worked with clients dealing with codependency for over a decade.

— D.J. Burr, Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Seattle, WA

If you are concerned about a loved one’s substance abuse problem, I am here for you as well. Informed by lived experience and proven addiction treatment, I offer individual and family therapy to help you protect yourself, prevent enabling your loved one, and guide you both to the necessary resources for treatment and recovery. My goal is to help you both heal together.

— Jesse Smith, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist