Discernment Counseling

Deciding whether or not to stay in a marriage or get divorced can be one of the most difficult and agonizing decisions you face in life. For many couples, this state of limbo (should I stay or should I go) can last months or even years. Discernment counseling is an assessment process that was created to help partners decide between three outcomes: to work on improving the relationship (often with couples counseling), to maintain the current relationship as is, or to get divorced. Unlike traditional couples counseling, which is typically open-ended and can last for years, discernment counseling is generally brief and typically completed in 3-5 sessions. Think this approach could work for you and your partner(s)? Reach out to one of TherapyDen’s discernment counseling experts today. 

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I'm a certified Discernment Counselor who helps couples unsure about their relationship's future. Through our sessions, we'll explore the issues that have brought you to this point, and I'll help you to understand the dynamics of your relationship and to make an informed decision about the best path forward. I aim to help you and your partner find clarity, peace of mind, and the confidence to make the right decision for both of you.

— Dr. Tom Murray, Sex and Relationship Therapist, Sex Therapist in Greensboro, NC

Discernment counseling is a short-term model designed to assist couples on the brink. The goal of this intervention is to develope clarity about the marriage, secure confidence in moving forward, and understanding of the role each partner has contributed to the struggle. These goals are obtained by focusing on three specific pathways: path 1. Remaining in the marriage without change, path 2. Separation or divorce, path 3. Commitment to a course of 6 months of couples therapy.

— Joseph Winn, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Concord, MA
 

If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, Discernment Counseling is designed for you. I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health or move toward divorce. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

— Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones, Psychologist in Durham, NC

Trained and working towards certification with Dr. Bill Dougherty in helping couples decide to work on their relationship.

— Traci Ruble, Marriage & Family Therapist in , CA
 

If you're struggling with your marriage and uncertain about the future, I understand how difficult that can be. You haven’t agreed to end your relationship, but you haven’t decided to stay together either. When one or both partners is seriously considering separation or divorce, discernment counseling can help. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO

If you're struggling with your marriage and uncertain about the future, I understand how difficult that can be. You haven’t agreed to end your relationship, but you haven’t decided to stay together either. When one or both partners is seriously considering separation or divorce, discernment counseling can help. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make.

— Valery Krieg, Clinical Social Worker in Evergreen, CO
 

When a couple presents to therapy with two different goals, one being to stay in the relationship, and the other being unsure, I would recommend discernment counseling. Discernment counseling allows for the couple to determine what they want for the future of their relationship. This can be deciding on a definite divorce, possible separation, or deciding on going to couple's therapy to work on any relational issues. The choice is up to the client, with the therapist being a coach.

— Caroline Rucker, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Dallas, TX

Discernment Counseling isn't therapy. The discernment process is meant to provide you with clarity and confidence about a direction for your relationship based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in your relationship as well exploring the possibilities for the future. Discernment counseling is brief- just 1-5 sessions; and goal-directed, meaning there's no time to waste. If you're stuck and uncertain of the future. Discernment counseling can help.

— Mark Cagle, Counselor in Dallas, TX

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is“leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage. I am a certified Discernment Counselor.

— Hannah Holwell, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Wayzata, MN
 

I am currently getting certified as a Discernment Counselor to serve my clients that find themselves in a space where they need assistance finding clarity on if their relationship is salvageable. When we assimilate early on in relationship it can cloud our judgement of if we selected a mate that is well matched for us. This type of brief therapy (1-5 sessions) is aimed at figuring out if all parties want to forge ahead working on the issues or finding a way to peaceful dissolution.

— Monica Lynne, Sex Therapist in Snoqualmie, WA

Discernment Counseling does not help you to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable. It provides a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at options.. The aim is to help couples gain clarity and confidence about a direction to either try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take time and decide later.

— David Low, Marriage & Family Therapist in Fox Point, WI
 

Discernment Counseling was developed for couples who are on the fence about staying in their marriage. In these cases, typically one person wants to stay married and work on salvaging the relationship, while the other partner feels like divorce or separation is the only option. This intensive, short-term process helps both partners gain clarity around the immensely painful and difficult decision around taking steps to preserve the relationship or taking steps toward ending the marriage.

— Trisha Andrews, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Parker, CO
 

Discernment counseling is a new, very brief, targeted type of therapy for couples who are considering splitting up. Our goal is to find clarity and confidence about how to proceed. We don't try to solve your problems as a couple in discernment counseling. We determine whether your problems are solvable. One possible outcome is choosing to enter couples therapy together, but we don't assume that is the right path for you. I have extensive training in discernment counseling.

— Gretta Duleba, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in , WA

Discernment Counseling is for Couples who are struggling with “how to move forward” with one partner wanting to save the marriage/relationship, while the other partner is uncertain and/or leaning toward ending the relationship. Discernment counseling is about empowering couples to make a collaborative decision about their future and does not view divorce as a failure or staying together as a success. Click here to learn more about Discernment Counseling

— Jennifer Hillier, Licensed Professional Counselor in San Antonio, TX