Discernment Counseling

I'm a certified Discernment Counselor who helps couples unsure about their relationship's future. Through our sessions, we'll explore the issues that have brought you to this point, and I'll help you to understand the dynamics of your relationship and to make an informed decision about the best path forward. I aim to help you and your partner find clarity, peace of mind, and the confidence to make the right decision for both of you.

I have studied the theory and worked with multiple couples at varying stages of discernment with different outcomes. I find this model to be instrumental with couples in which one partner is "one foot out" while the other partner is "hanging on to the final thread." It is critical that they get on the same path before attempting couples therapy, and Discernment Counseling is an excellent model to determine if that is possible.

Discernment counseling is a short-term model designed to assist couples on the brink. The goal of this intervention is to develope clarity about the marriage, secure confidence in moving forward, and understanding of the role each partner has contributed to the struggle. These goals are obtained by focusing on three specific pathways: path 1. Remaining in the marriage without change, path 2. Separation or divorce, path 3. Commitment to a course of 6 months of couples therapy.

If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, Discernment Counseling is designed for you. I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health or move toward divorce. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable.

Trained and working towards certification with Dr. Bill Dougherty in helping couples decide to work on their relationship.

When a couple presents to therapy with two different goals, one being to stay in the relationship, and the other being unsure, I would recommend discernment counseling. Discernment counseling allows for the couple to determine what they want for the future of their relationship. This can be deciding on a definite divorce, possible separation, or deciding on going to couple's therapy to work on any relational issues. The choice is up to the client, with the therapist being a coach.

Discernment Counseling was developed for couples who are on the fence about staying in their marriage. In these cases, typically one person wants to stay married and work on salvaging the relationship, while the other partner feels like divorce or separation is the only option. This intensive, short-term process helps both partners gain clarity around the immensely painful and difficult decision around taking steps to preserve the relationship or taking steps toward ending the marriage.

If you're struggling with your marriage and uncertain about the future, I understand how difficult that can be. You haven’t agreed to end your relationship, but you haven’t decided to stay together either. When one or both partners is seriously considering separation or divorce, discernment counseling can help. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make.

Discernment Counseling isn't therapy. The discernment process is meant to provide you with clarity and confidence about a direction for your relationship based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in your relationship as well exploring the possibilities for the future. Discernment counseling is brief- just 1-5 sessions; and goal-directed, meaning there's no time to waste. If you're stuck and uncertain of the future. Discernment counseling can help.

In discernment counseling, I provide a neutral, supportive environment for couples who are unsure about the future of their relationship. My approach helps each partner explore their feelings, gain clarity, and identify the best path forward—whether that’s working to improve the relationship or deciding to part ways. With respect and empathy, I guide couples through the decision-making process, empowering them to make a thoughtful, informed choice about their future.

I was born with the spirit of discernment. I have always been this way and I have never left God’s side or shall I say, God has never left my side. My discernment guides not only my life, but also how I work with clients. I have had many clients feel as if I was reading their mind or as if I really understand them. Discernment leaves no room for error, whereas, education, biases and projections do. Discernment counseling is spiritual in nature and allows God to speak through counselor/coach

This is a specific therapy for couples who are contemplating separation or divorce. You may be unsure about whether you want to stay in their marriage or whether traditional couples therapy can work for you. Each partner may be experiencing different feelings about what to do, and this supports both parties as they work through their feelings (together and individually). Some goals include getting clearer, managing emotions, and learning about yourself and relationships.

If you or your partner are considering divorce, good communication is imperative at this point - whether you stay together or end your relationship. The actions you take now will impact each other and your loved ones for years to come. How can you act in a way that you are proud of - despite the intense emotional pain? Discernment counseling helps couples to navigate decision-making about their relationship - so you can navigate your next chapter in the healthiest way possible.

Discernment Counseling is 1-5 sessions (in person in WA or virtual). I help couples gain clarity about the problems in their relationship and each person's contributions to those problems while also exploring the next best path (path 1-status quo/keep things as is, path 2-separation or divorce, path 3-couples therapy). Once a path is chosen clients often choose to meet an additional time to plan for their chosen path. I am certified with the Doherty Institute as a discernment counselor.