Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) – or emotionally focused couples therapy as it is sometimes known – is a short-term therapy technique focused on adult relationships. EFT seeks to help clients better understand both their own emotional responses and those of significant people in their lives. A therapist using EFT will look for patterns in the relationship and identify methods to create a more secure bond, increase trust, and help the relationship grow in a healthy direction. In a session, the therapist will observe the interactions between clients, tie this behavior into dynamics in the home, and help guide new interactions based on more open feelings. Sometimes, this includes clients discovering more emotions and feelings than they were aware they had. Think this approach might be right for you? Reach out to one of

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When we suppress or numb our emotions we don't get to pick and choose the ones we want to feel, they all get suppressed. Emotions are information and they are often trying to tell us important things. Recognizing and sitting with our emotions is a practice that we can get better at; allowing us to move deeper into our understanding of ourselves and others.

— Lindsay Anderson, Professional Counselor Associate in , OR

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a widely used method primarily for couple therapy, but can be used on an individual approach. To me, this is the approach of choice. EFT is about re-building that emotional connection with your partner. Getting past the surface level problems and diving into the sub-layers where most conflict comes from. Do you feel alone and out of touch with your partner? Are you holding on to past issues because they are unresolved? If you answered yes, contact me today!

— Heather Nemeth, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Western Springs, IL

Do you find you and your partner(s) are getting stuck in the same argument over and over? You know you both care for each other but neither of you feel heard and seen. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy, I can help you get in touch with your deeper emotions, address your relational conflict cycle, and build safe & emotionally connected relationships.

— Taylor Kravitz, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Portland, OR

Emotionally Focused Therapy is an evidence-based treatment for couples, focusing on the patterns of communication that happen in the relationship. I help couples learn to identify your cycle of conflict, so you can predict (and avoid!) patterns that lead to arguing, feeling on edge, and being stuck in the pain of disconnection. In EFT, couples learn how to stop the cycle of conflict, as well as how to find new levels of safety and connection with one another to strengthen your bond.

— Shelly Crosby, Psychologist in Long Beach, CA

“Although many of us think of ourselves as thinking creatures that feel, biologically we are feeling creatures that think:” Jill Bolte Taylor, neuroanatomist. Emotionally Focused Therapy recognizes that our emotional lives are the source of our desires, values, sense of meaning and purpose, and attachment to self, others, and the world. Its goal is to help clients effectively acknowledge, cope with, and regulate their emotions in order to enrich and transform their lives.

— Edwin Ancarana, Psychotherapist

EFT is used in couples therapy, although it can also be applied to individuals. EFT focuses on exploring and meeting the attachment needs of both partners. Sessions usually involve each partner speaking to the therapist about their state, followed by the therapist instructing the partners to talk to one another about emotions and needs. EFT is effective for reducing conflict, improving communication, and increasing emotional connection.

— Anna Khandrueva, Therapist in Broomfield, CO

My clients would say my approach of Emotionally Focused Therapy is both challenging and rewarding. This method gently and steadfastly supports each partner in uncovering and sharing underlying feelings, and having the experience witnessed and received by the other partner. Often these are emotions that fuel anger, discontent, arguments and physical distancing that is so painful for couples. Giving them space helps to shift things, and points to tools on sustaining a new closeness.

— Robin K. Schnitzler, Marriage & Family Therapist in Middleton, WI

Nearly 10 years of clinical experience and advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy.

— Ross Kellogg, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA

I have completed the EFT Externship and have used EFT in my practice for many years as well as taken other EFT training at conferences.

— Sheila Addison, Counselor in Oakland, CA

Emotionally focused therapy is amazingly effective in helping you break out of the 'bad dance' of unhealthy relational patterns. We will take apart the layers of your consciousness in relating to others: your behaviors; your thoughts & beliefs; your protective emotions; your vulnerable emotions; & your core unmet attachment needs/traumas. You will learn how your behaviors trigger others' traumas, & vice-versa. You will learn how to be seen & heard relationally, & how to see & hear others.

— Kirstin Carl, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Encino, CA

Based in attachment theory, emotionally focused therapy (EFT) allows for clients to get to the root of the most challenging issues often faced in relationships and marriages. With training in EFT in general and specific topics applied to EFT (including cultural awareness and healing after a breach of trust or infidelity), I am able to help clients utilize the tools of EFT to create healthy change in the distance-creating aspects of themselves and their relationships.

— Morghan Weber, Licensed Clinical Social Worker - Candidate in Denver, CO

I’m a couples therapist trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy from the ICEEFT: International Centre for Emotionally Focused Therapy. Yes, we will utilize tools that can be used to help ease conflict. We will also dig a little deeper. This is called therapy for a reason.

— Alejandro Daniel Pina, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA

When working with couples and families, I tend to use EFFT as my primary lens. Identifying the dysfunctional relational patterns at play is vital for preventing further damage and getting unstuck from vicious cycles. It's so much easier to see what others could be doing differently, but the only way to be truly empowered is to take accountability for your own part in the relationship dynamics and focus on what you can do differently.

— Joy Linn, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Santa Rosa, CA

EFT uses a series of steps to work towards building a stronger bond. Through actively engaging with each other with empathy and shared vulnerability, couples begin to understand and resolve their conflict and distress. The therapist aims to bring the couple to a place where they can soften criticism and blame, can engage rather than withdraw and risk reaching out to each other. Trust can grow and flourish within such a shared experience.

— Sarah Thompson, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in Denver, CO