Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent communication was developed out of a belief that our culture has taught us to think and speak in ways that can actually perpetuate conflict, internal pain and even violence. Nonviolent communication is founded on the tenet that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or behavior that harms themselves and others when they do not recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. It is typically taught, often in a therapy session, as a process of interpersonal communication designed to improve compassion for, and connection to, others. Think this approach might be right for you? Reach out to one of TherapyDen’s nonviolent communication specialists today. 

Need help finding the right therapist?
Find Your Match

Meet the specialists

 

Compassion is key to our work together, as is developing an awareness of your worth and your values. In a relationship with others, NVC helps us recognize that we are all autonomous beings and effective, clear communication is key to getting our needs met. It removes the "good" and "bad" labels we may impose on things and instead encourages us to be curious and nonjudgmental. It's quite liberating!

— Shelby Dwyer, Counselor in Boston, MA

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

— Carlyle Stewart, Counselor in Asheville, NC
 

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

— Annette Barnett, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Saratoga, CA

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

— Annette Barnett, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Saratoga, CA
 

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

— Erica Rampelberg, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Columbus, OH
 

NVC is foundational to the work I do with clients. I encourage my clients to communicate with themselves and with others from a place of empathy, understanding and openness/flexibility, all while asserting and holding personal boundaries.

— Nanika Coor, Clinical Psychologist in Brooklyn, NY

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of perceiving one's self, one another and the world with empathy--truly listening with an open heart. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered, to name a few. Learning to connect with our feelings and needs creates space for healing.

— Ashley Gregory, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in ,
 

I was trained in NVC and have used it with clients since 2009.

— Amelia McGinley, Clinical Social Worker in St. Paul, MN

How are we sharing our needs and wants with others, and are we taking ownership of ourselves as we do so?

— Carolyn Stypka, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in CHICAGO, IL
 

I use Non-violent Communication (NVC) in my life both personally and professionally because it's such a direct way to speak to our feelings and needs while respecting ourselves and the person we're communicating with. I find it's most helpful as a tool when people are just beginning to speak more kindly to themselves and meet their needs. NVC is great for improving your self-talk, not just how you communicate with others!

— Elissa Burdick, Therapist in ,

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of viewing one's self, one another and the world with empathy--truly listening with an open heart. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered, to name a few.

— Ashley Gregory, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in ,
 

Communication styles and patterns are learned. We can learn new ones and unlearn what doesn't serve us. If the goal is to achieve harmony and progressive and positive outcomes as a result of communication, learning how to do this so our approach is effective, has integrity, and the goals are clearly defined. It's incredibly frustrating to attempt to communicate with someone important in our lives only to be met with defensiveness and a lack of receptivity. Let's improve the outcomes together.

— Lara Falberg, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Columbus, OH