Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent communication was developed out of a belief that our culture has taught us to think and speak in ways that can actually perpetuate conflict, internal pain and even violence. Nonviolent communication is founded on the tenet that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or behavior that harms themselves and others when they do not recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. It is typically taught, often in a therapy session, as a process of interpersonal communication designed to improve compassion for, and connection to, others. Think this approach might be right for you? Reach out to one of TherapyDen’s nonviolent communication specialists today. 

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Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

— Alexa Golding, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

— Carlyle Stewart, Counselor in Asheville, NC
 

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

— Annette Barnett, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Saratoga, CA

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

— Annette Barnett, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Saratoga, CA
 

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

— Erica Rampelberg, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Delaware, OH

I use Non-violent Communication (NVC) in my life both personally and professionally because it's such a direct way to speak to our feelings and needs while respecting ourselves and the person we're communicating with. I find it's most helpful as a tool when people are just beginning to speak more kindly to themselves and meet their needs. NVC is great for improving your self-talk, not just how you communicate with others!

— Elissa Burdick, Therapist in ,
 

Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy communication coupled with an understanding of domestic violence influences my expertise in this area. I've worked with clients individually as well as in a group setting to teach skills pertaining to good vs bad communication, conflict resolution, communication styles, boundaries and a host of other topics that influence the exchange of communication.

— Chavara Hamilton, Licensed Professional Counselor in Dallas-Fort Worth, TX

NVC is foundational to the work I do with clients. I encourage my clients to communicate with themselves and with others from a place of empathy, understanding and openness/flexibility, all while asserting and holding personal boundaries.

— Nanika Coor, Clinical Psychologist in Brooklyn, NY
 

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of viewing one's self, one another and the world with empathy--truly listening with an open heart. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered, to name a few.

— Ashley Gregory, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in ,

I have been working with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for nearly 20 years. This form of communication supports skills building in emotional awareness, needs awareness, conflict resolution, and more. I am happy to offer support in learning and using NVC, or in simply hearing me offer examples of NVC to the client.

— Caera Gramore, Mental Health Practitioner in Arlington, WA
 

Nonviolent Communication (aka NVC or Compassionate Communication) is a unique and powerful process for inspiring connection and action with others. Communication is the backbone of human relationships, even the relationship with ourselves. As a therapist trained in NVC, I help my clients learn compassionate, clear, communication skills that can contribute to their well-being, empowerment, and connection in every area of their lives.

— Elise Fabricant, Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate in Denver, CO

Compassion is key to our work together, as is developing an awareness of your worth and your values. In a relationship with others, NVC helps us recognize that we are all autonomous beings and effective, clear communication is key to getting our needs met. It removes the "good" and "bad" labels we may impose on things and instead encourages us to be curious and nonjudgmental. It's quite liberating!

— Shelby Dwyer, Counselor in Boston, MA
 

Step by step guidelines to express our feelings, needs, and requests.  Applies to communication, setting boundaries, and relationships.

— Fiona Chen, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Beaverton, OR