About My Clients
Your styles of conflict may be different: some partners fight a lot, some avoid conflict and yet others are able to talk things out without ever raising their voice. Your partnership may be tested by the discrepant ways you show or don't want to show affection and intimacy. You might have realized that you have mismatched values. Perhaps you just found out that your partner is neurodiverse leading you to wonder if your marriage can prevail in ways that don't lead to emotional abandonment.
My Background and Approach
My approach is eclectic because I honor that every client and every couple is unique, though you can expect me to draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy, Attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, The Gottman Method, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Solution Focused Therapy. Rest assured I will ask you about your successes, resources and resilience, not just your problems. I believe we all have some strengths. I will have you build on them to become a more emotionally intelligent couple. I welcome humor, sarcasm and irreverent communication in sessions if that helps you feel relief or experience a deeper connection. Listen to understand, not to form a defensive retort in your mind as they speak. Understand what it is like to be your partner. I get that it isn't fair, at times it may feel as though one of you is doing all the work. I agree, it isn't fair but you are in a partnership and are here so I assume you do want to try.
My Personal Beliefs and Interests
I speak three languages and understand the need to tailor therapy based on cultural backgrounds. My experience as an immigrant helps me empathize with client’s life challenges, and my early parental and spousal losses enable me to connect with others in mourning. I've been a client in couples therapy myself and I can understand how big of a step it is for you to reach out for help. It means that you refused to give up. I am in the business of hope and will do my best to turn that hope into tangible progress for you and your partner. I am sex-positive and not afraid of kink or fetish talk. Human sexuality is complex and fascinating. Sadly, our society might be telling you otherwise at times, leading to lots of internalized shame and guilt. I believe that intimacy and sex are a big part of our wellbeing. When those are no longer present consistently, partners experience loss. That can create a great divide in a relationship.