Ben Meyer (He/his)

Often times if a person has a low self-esteem, they will take on a relationship and try to earn their partner’s respect through sacrificing. Although this may work in the short term, in the long term, it will leave a person unsatisfied and feeling depressed. Until a fundamental shift occurs, these types of patterns are likely to continue. I can help better understand these dynamics and challenge you to do better.

From a psychoanalytic approach, I follow the models as a fourth by Jacques Lacan. He takes an additional step past Freud and recognizes the interplay of language and culture as reflections of our behavior that often go unnoticed. In bringing out some of these nuanced influences, a person can become much more aware of why they act and think the way they do.

From a psychodynamic approach, the Oedipus complex is an important influence in our early childhood behavior and its lack of being fulfilled creates conflict and complexity within the family unit. From there, it only gets more complicated. Freud can help understand some of the defense mechanisms that people employ to maintain stability. There are many.

Emotionally focused therapy recognizes the emotions we show are often times protective emotions which hide our true feelings. By communicating more deeply, we can acknowledge some of these aspects and although it may take additional courage, by being vulnerable, it helps our relationships improve.

I use not only a psychodynamic framework but an emotionally focused orientation to couples. This means that underneath the emotions and actions that we show, are actions and emotions that we hide. These are important. If I am angry, for example, that means, I might be hurt. What I show you is the anger, what I actually feel is the hurt. Unless we can tune into these types of emotions, our relationships are doomed to repeat some of the emotional trauma we experienced as children and young adults.

One of the things that happens in the framework of a family is that the mother and father figures are at the top, meaning any kids have to fight from underneath that structure. No child gets enough support to handle what it takes to become an adult. This means, turning from a youth to an adult takes more insight than we have when we start out. A person this age and going through these experiences is fragile, often self-critical, and can be depressed, creating low self-esteem.

I have a way of approaching anxiety which is holistic and practical. I'm convinced I can help you understand how to manage anxiety so that you can overcome it more easily. It does not have to be something you battle with every day. Our bodies have an intelligence we need to lean into-- rather than away from-- in order to heal.

My approach to depression is to acknowledge the potential negative influence of your environment. "If you are depressed, first determine whether or not you are surrounded by assholes."