Nonviolent Communication

Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

I use Non-violent Communication (NVC) in my life both personally and professionally because it's such a direct way to speak to our feelings and needs while respecting ourselves and the person we're communicating with. I find it's most helpful as a tool when people are just beginning to speak more kindly to themselves and meet their needs. NVC is great for improving your self-talk, not just how you communicate with others!

Non-violent communication provides a helpful framework for understanding the interplay of feelings and needs, and for improving communication around those needs.

I have training in NVC, which looks at need and how to express them in an assertive way so that another person can hear. I find that many people with anxiety and depression have unmet needs that they are unable to express or unable to fill.

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of viewing one's self, one another and the world. At the center of NVC is empathy--truly listening with an open heart to ourselves and to those we want to connect with. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered to name a few.

Nonviolent Communication (aka NVC or Compassionate Communication) is a unique and powerful process for inspiring connection and action with others. Communication is the backbone of human relationships, even the relationship with ourselves. As a therapist trained in NVC, I help my clients learn compassionate, clear, communication skills that can contribute to their well-being, empowerment, and connection in every area of their lives.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

Learning to identify, express, and share our feelings and needs can change both how we relate to ourselves and to others. When we don't know how we are feeling, how can someone comfort or reassure us? Together we find a way for you to not only know what you feel and need but also to trust in yourself enough to ask for it from your family, partner, and the world.

NVC teaches us to understand and know what our needs and feelings are. I come back again and again to this practice with clients, no matter the circumstance.

I look to create communication that decreases defensiveness. I believe NVC is one of the best ways to do this. NVC addresses the issue in a way that is non-threatening as well as offers solutions, so the problem doesn't continuously emerge.

If you have struggles communicating with your family, friends, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, boss, teacher, neighbor, etc. you will benefit from learning nonviolent communication (NVC). NVC is being used around the world to aid in communication and to decrease conflict. NVC is composed of four parts: observations, feelings, needs, requests. When you focus on your own experience, the receiver hears the message without blame or criticism (and are less likely to become defensive).