Attachment

Studying and working in attachment theory has led me to believe that people are not inherently bad or broken. Rather, we have learned survival strategies through our lives that may be unconsciously repeated inappropriately throughout the lifetime. We have seen time and time again how exploration of these patterns leads to self-understanding and forgiveness, the emotional states from which we can create new patterns and break generational cycles.

I focus on how we learned to attach to others throughout our lives. What lesson's did we learn about trust? What emotions were accepted and which were rejected? I have seen how learning about how we connected with others from a very young age teaches us about how we connect with others now. When we explore these learned reactions we can relearn our relationships and be more compassionate with ourselves in our own journeys to connect with others.

For most people, repetitive, problematic patterns in relationships usually stem from attachment adaptations that were learned in childhood. Because we live with these patterns (sometimes others', sometimes our own) for so long, we often can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak. If you would like to gain more insight into why the same problems keep happening in your relationships, and learn how to change these patterns, please reach out!

Attachment wounds are at the core of many of our struggles, and this lens comes into all the work I do. I also have specific training in modalities such as EFT, and Attachment Focused EMDR.

Have you ever felt "crazy" in an intimate relationship? What about feeling that intimate relationships aren't that important because you can take care of yourself and others just complicate things? These feelings are often a result of an insecure attachment style. Identifying the ins and outs of secure vs. insecure attachment can provide great clarity and understanding of our behaviors, and the great news is, we can heal from insecure attachment wounds by forming secure attachments.

Babies cannot survive on their own. They need a caregiver to help them. If the caregiving we received was not "good enough" or we experienced early childhood trauma like birth trauma, surgeries, illness and extended separations, we likely developed an insecure attachment. I help clients find safety in relationships again and break patterns of clinging, avoidance, blaming and minimizing. Through trauma informed, IFS, somatic, inner child work I help clients rebuild their foundations.

Humans are social creatures, but as we learn to protect ourselves emotionally we tend to keep others out. Some of us keep others at a distance. We rely on the strength of our fierce independence though inside we might be suffering on our own. Still others of us try very hard to connect, maybe trying too hard and pushing others away or maybe just quietly doubting that others actually like us. My approach explicitly focuses on building security within ourselves and closeness with others.

This is my greatest area of mental health training. I worked for five years in early childhood development with attachment specialists, have a graduate certificate in infant mental health, have been endorsed at two levels in infant mental health practice (Level II and Level III), and was an infant mental health therapist for three years. What this means is that I deeply understand and have seen how our experiences from in-utero onward shape our development and sense of self.

I specialize in working with clients who frequently express apprehensions related to rejection and abandonment. My approach involves delving into their early life experiences, particularly their interactions within the parent-child dynamic, as well as their past romantic relationships. By exploring and understanding these foundational aspects, I illuminate how they shape and influence the clients' current patterns and dynamics of relationships.

Aversion to touch and physical affection? Control issues? Anger problems? Difficulty showing genuine care and affection? Lack of inhibition? Struggling with a sense of self or conscience? This might be related to attachment. If you related to these descriptors or find yourself to be struggling within relationships, let's talk.

I love utilizing an attachment approach with my clients and exploring how early attachments impact how we relate to others today.

An individual with attachment challenges may struggle in relationships ( Maintaining them, trusting other people, feeling safe in a relationship and forming healthy bonds with others. Creating healthy emotional bonds has a tremendous impact on our lives. Let me help you create the sense of belonging with your loves ones!

When it comes to couples counseling, attachment-focused therapy is a game-changer. It recognizes that our emotions are at the heart of our relationships, and that by better understanding and managing our emotions, we can create deeper, more meaningful connections with our partners. Couples learn to identify and express their emotional needs and to learn how to respond to their partner's emotional states in a supportive and caring way.

Clients who have childhood trauma or relationship issues will work with me on overcoming attachment wounds. We will use inner child tools to understand what needs were neglected and how to give yourself the care your younger self needs. I also assist clients in building communication and boundary tools to improve current relationships.

I have found working through an attachment lens to be enormously helpful in helping us understand our patterns and why we are the way we are. It also gives us permission and potential to make new choices and know ourselves more deeply.

Attachment can affect how we show up in our relationships and how relationships effect our wellbeing. We will redefine some shattered roles so that you can reimagine your relationships as whole.

I help clients understand their attachment style, learn what is getting in the way of secure attachment, and normalize/contextualize those issues. I use reparenting to increase your ability to self-soothe. And I use somatic approaches, such as parts work, to assist you in healing from old attachment wounds.

As my entry to the field began in research and theory, I enjoy incorporating Attachment Theory into the way I treat relationship issues, emotion regulation, and coping strategies. Maybe you find your mind waiting for the second shoe to drop when things are calm. Maybe conflict makes you shrink up and want to run the other way. Maybe you struggle to engage with the risk inherent to relationship. Attachment-based interventions can help us practice secure attachment behaviors (when it *is* safe).

I believe the attachment relationship can be related to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, identity, and relationship difficulty. By exploring patterns that emerged in childhood, we can work together to develop new patterns within relationships.