Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Codependency stems from many factors, and likely can be traced back to experiences in your past. Together we will explore your learned behaviors and thoughts that contribute to your choices that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships. It all starts with self-love and compassion.

— Kesha Martin, Counselor in San Antonio, TX

Codependency is a learned pattern of behavior that starts in childhood but often becomes no longer helpful or even harmful in adulthood. Common codependent behaviors include denying one's thoughts or feelings; giving too much of one's time, energy, or money; being too identified as a caretaker or giver in relationships, and a culminating exhaustion and fatigue. I can work with you to address each of these life-restricting symptoms and learn how to get your life back.

— Ross Kellogg, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA
 

Ditch the Codependence Label - It Does Note Define You! So many people are labeled with the term “codependence” these days. It’s a great buzz word and helps people know that they take care of people in relationships over themselves. Great…now what? I help people ditch this label and actually find out why it’s difficult for you to focus more on you and why it’s engrained in you to say no to yourself and yes to others.

— Melissa Barbash, Counselor in Denver, CO

Codependency is an issue near and dear to my heart because it's something I've worked through personally. If you come from a home where there was any sort of addictive behavior- workaholism, compulsive gambling or shopping, etc- the odds are good there was also codependency. Many of us can function with our codependency- but our lives can be SO MUCH better once it's managed.

— Hannah Bonaparte, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Los Angeles, CA
 

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

I have first hand knowledge of what it’s like living with the effects of someone else’s alcoholism/substance use, as well as identifying codependent personality traits. Healing from codependency requires developing a healthy relationship with yourself, by putting yourself first, learning to identify what your needs are, and setting healthy boundaries.

— Alisa Ibragimova, Counselor in Forest Hills, NY

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

— Kellie Rice, Psychologist in Chicago, IL
 

I work to empower my clients so that they are able to realize their own wants and needs, and to be able to stand on their own and live the life they deserve.

— Jessica Snyder, Therapist in Pittsburgh, PA

I help girls and women navigate their inner knowing within themselves. Through this awareness we look at areas and relationships within their lives where they are holding back their thoughts, beliefs, feelings and ideas from others to protect themselves and their relationships from rupture or conflict. We will work together to find ways that feel good and safe to express what is true and heal harmful codependent patterns.

— Rachael Rosenberg, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Redwood City, CA
 

Early childhood trauma can resurface in intimate relationships, and can manifest as codependent behavior patterns. I help clients develop self-compassion and awareness to break toxic relationship cycles.

— Angela Allan, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist in Oakland, CA

Do you spend too much time thinking about other people? Are your needs usually on the back-burner because you are worried about the needs of others in your life? Do you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If any of this resonates with you, you may have difficulty prioritizing your own needs and setting healthy boundaries in your relationships. Let’s work together to establish (or re-establish) a healthy relationship with yourself.

— Bianca Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta,
 

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY

Are you the one who always takes care of everything? Have you had to do things for yourself most of your life? "Codependency" is a big word that doesn't have to involve substance abuse. Ironically, its most common subjects describe themselves as "independent." If thinking about someone else's problems occupies more of your time than you'd like, let's talk.

— Kathryn Gates, Marriage & Family Therapist in Austin, TX
 

Codependency is often defined in different ways. I see codependency as a pervasive, unconscious relationship pattern where one prioritizes the needs of others and/or attempts to control the emotional dynamic of a situation to feel safe. Examples include enabling an addicted partner, being unwilling to set social boundaries with friends, or always going with “the flow” when you want something else.

— Courtney Terrell, Counselor in Fishers, IN

Often with addiction comes codependency , I enjoy helping others identify their codependency and work through it

— Sara Farrell, Addictions Counselor in Creve Coeur, MO
 

Is it challenging for you to say "No" to your partner, parent, boss or co-workers? Do you find yourself wondering if you are helping too much, or giving too much of yourself, your independence or your personal power away? The art of managing your personal boundaries in a way that supports you and your relationships in a healthy and authentic way is part of the ongoing work of growing into a fuller, more realized version of yourself.

— Nathan Michael, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Berkeley, CA

If you are concerned about a loved one’s substance abuse problem, I am here for you as well. Informed by lived experience and proven addiction treatment, I offer individual and family therapy to help you protect yourself, prevent enabling your loved one, and guide you both to the necessary resources for treatment and recovery. My goal is to help you both heal together.

— Jesse Smith, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
 

Codependency involves sacrificing your needs for the needs of other people in your life. It's when there's a shift in focus from you to others. Codependency occurs in unhealthy and unbalanced relationships and you may feel like to need to save others. Codependency counseling can help you develop healthy boundaries in relationships, learn strategies to increase you individual self-esteem and autonomy and build coping mechanisms for separation and individuation.

— Daria Stepanian-Duhancioglu, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Have you been feeling anxious, depressed, or find that you have a hard time saying no to people? Do you find that you often end up feeling like you need to help or fix a loved one's problems? Do you struggle with boundaries, people pleasing and unbalanced relationships? You don't have to do this alone. Having a therapist that's experienced in codependency treatment will support you in addressing underlying issues that have been keeping you stuck.

— Jennifer Leupp, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Long Beach, CA