Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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Codependency involves sacrificing your needs for the needs of other people in your life. It's when there's a shift in focus from you to others. Codependency occurs in unhealthy and unbalanced relationships and you may feel like to need to save others. Codependency counseling can help you develop healthy boundaries in relationships, learn strategies to increase you individual self-esteem and autonomy and build coping mechanisms for separation and individuation.

— Daria Stepanian, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ
 

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ

Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

I deeply believe in the healing that comes from exploring our attachment wounds and addressing the resulting toxic cycles that this carries into our relationships. I've worked extensively with addiction recovery, addicted family systems and the subsequent coddpendent dynamics that ensue. I have specialty training in working with all of these populations along with personal and professional experience.

— Michelle Byrd, Counselor in Denver, CO

If you have trouble with needing to externally focus on other and have a hard time focusing on and caring for yourself, I can help. I have worked with many individuals to help them to reconnect with their wants, needs and learn to keep the focus on themselves.

— Celine Redfield, Marriage & Family Therapist in Portland, OR
 

This is a term that I don't use because I find a more accurate description of codependency is one that recognizes its roots in attachment wounds that often play out in family dynamics. Framing the boundary issues, emotional needs, relationship dynamics and control struggles that are common in co-dependency helps target the underlying and often wordless coping mechanisms and triggers that aid in treatment.

— Meira Greenfeld, Psychotherapist in Phoenix, AZ

I work with individuals and couples to address family of origin issues, relationship formation, boundary setting, feeling less than, need for approval seeking and people pleasing, fear, shame, guilt, giving up you to belong and many other areas of feeling less than or unworthy that lead to emotional pain and set up feelings of loneliness food addictions, sex addictions, and love addictions. Learn to love yourself and believe in yourself! Learn to listen to your own inner wisdom. Learn to soar !

— Cathy Armstrong, Licensed Professional Counselor in Corpus Christi, TX
 

Do you have trouble with people pleasing? Always focusing on external issues or everyone else’s issues which leads to you ignoring your own needs or being able to care for yourself? I can help! We will work together to understand your relationships throughout your life to understand what led you to this place and work to chip away to build healthy boundaries and how to learn or relearn how to care for your own needs and wants.

— Emmily Weldon, Counselor in Port St. Lucie, FL

Do your relationships suck and stress you out? I mean relationships with EVERYONE: your boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, boss, etc. Are you constantly fearful of disappointing people? Or you just can't stand up for yourself no matter what? Personally, I believe this is the most difficult and terrifying issue anyone can face (but do it anyway!). This is the hidden disease of our time. I can help you find your True Self.

— Matt Anderson, Licensed Professional Counselor in Edmond, OK
 

Are you the one who always takes care of everything? Have you had to do things for yourself most of your life? "Codependency" is a big word that doesn't have to involve substance abuse. Ironically, its most common subjects describe themselves as "independent." If thinking about someone else's problems occupies more of your time than you'd like, let's talk.

— Kathryn Gates, Marriage & Family Therapist in Austin, TX

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

Codependency is the worst! Am I right? When you fall in love with someone you want to feel excited and happy and filled with optimism. You don't want to feel anxious and nervous and obsessed with when you'll see them next or how much they really like you. I want to talk to you if codependent feelings have been haunting you you're whole life. Together we can figure out where they are coming from and why they keep popping up. I've got tons of tools and techniques for coping with your codependent feelings. Our goal will be to leave your codependent experiences in the past so that you can enjoy falling in love and feel a lot more secure in your relationships.

— Jeff Guenther, Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, OR

Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

Codependency is getting needs met by meeting the needs of others. While this may not sound so bad at first, this pattern has the potential to cause wreckage in our personal experience in relationships, our career, etc. Counseling around codependent behaviors focuses on identifying my clients needs and supporting my client in getting their own needs met.

— Suzanne Cooper, Licensed Professional Counselor in Littleton, CO

Highly-Sensitive, Empath, People-Pleaser are all labels describing personality traits that will keep you stuck living your life as a victim. If you relate to this characterization, it's time to untangle yourself from the past that formed this way of being. With gentle, compassionate nudging, together, we will give voice to the part of yourself that is dying to be heard.

— Cynthia Eddings, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Santa Monica, CA
 

Ditch the Codependence Label - It Does Note Define You! So many people are labeled with the term “codependence” these days. It’s a great buzz word and helps people know that they take care of people in relationships over themselves. Great…now what? I help people ditch this label and actually find out why it’s difficult for you to focus more on you and why it’s engrained in you to say no to yourself and yes to others.

— Melissa Barbash, Counselor in Denver, CO

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

— Kellie Rice, Psychologist in Chicago, IL