Codependency

Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction," describes sacrificing one’s personal needs to try to meet the needs of others. Although it is often associated with romantic relationships, codependency can be experienced in all types of close relationships, including with family and friendships.  Someone who is codependent has an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as a spouse or relative or they build their identity on helping or “saving” other people. Codependents typically experience feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety and insecurity in these relationships and may also experience perfectionism and control issues. Codependent symptoms can worsen if left untreated. If you are worried that you might be codependent, reach out to one of TherapyDen’s codependency experts today!

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If you have trouble with needing to externally focus on other and have a hard time focusing on and caring for yourself, I can help. I have worked with many individuals to help them to reconnect with their wants, needs and learn to keep the focus on themselves.

— Celine Redfield, Marriage & Family Therapist in Portland, OR

Codependency stems from many factors, and likely can be traced back to experiences in your past. Together we will explore your learned behaviors and thoughts that contribute to your choices that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships. It all starts with self-love and compassion.

— Kesha Martin, Counselor in San Antonio, TX
 

Do you struggle with interpersonal boundaries either finding yourself with no boundaries getting hurt often or putting up walls and feeling the pain of isolation? Do you find that you hold resentment, have distorted/nonexistent spirituality, avoid reality (e.g. through addictions), or have a hard time with sustaining intimacy with others? I provide a safe, nurturing environment where we can gently explore these areas to create new experiences with oneself and one’s past.

— Addie Michlitsch, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Roseville, MN

I am trained in Pia Mellody's 5 Core Areas of the Self as a treatment model for codependency. These areas are: Boundaries, Self-love, Self-care, Owning your reality (thoughts, feelings, & needs), & Expressing your reality moderately (without shutting down or anger outbursts).

— Kirstin Carl, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Encino, CA
 

Self esteem is essentially how we relate to ourselves and our world. It’s how we value ourselves, it’s a basis for our thoughts and behaviors, our attitudes and relationships. It’s where our self worth resides. We need self esteem to feel effective in managing our lives. Self esteem is self-empowering.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY

Codependency means so much more than enabling with someone you love and today this idea has expanded to include adults who may or may not have lived with an addict. Codependency can more accurately be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own; accommodating to others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs.

— Gary Alexander, Therapist in Vancouver, WA
 

Codependency is getting needs met by meeting the needs of others. While this may not sound so bad at first, this pattern has the potential to cause wreckage in our personal experience in relationships, our career, etc. Counseling around codependent behaviors focuses on identifying my clients needs and supporting my client in getting their own needs met.

— Suzanne Cooper, Licensed Professional Counselor in Littleton, CO

Are you the one who always takes care of everything? Have you had to do things for yourself most of your life? "Codependency" is a big word that doesn't have to involve substance abuse. Ironically, its most common subjects describe themselves as "independent." If thinking about someone else's problems occupies more of your time than you'd like, let's talk.

— Kathryn Gates, Marriage & Family Therapist in Austin, TX
 

Codependency is often tied to the relationships that we have with addicts in our lives. Codependency is often defined as behaviors that enable behaviors we wish to see the end of but it often comes from a place of love, care and concern for others. The problem is that love, care and concern can result in giving too much to others. My goal in helping clients who struggle with codependency is to help them establish healthy boundaries so they can be supportive without overwhelming themselves.

— Aaron Bachler, Counselor in Tempe, AZ

Working with substance use disorders for the past decade the two go hand and hand. Recognizing how experiences from childhood have resulted in maladaptive coping mechanisms, negative core beliefs, and the process of healing and replacing with healthy boundaries, effective communication, changed thought processes, resulting in increased self-esteem and self-worth.

— Denae Arnold, Licensed Professional Counselor in Wheatridge, CO
 

Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY

Working with your inner child, address emotional triggers, gain insights into thought patterns and behaviors that are routed in fear. Reclaim your sense of safety, stability and joy, make choices for yourself that are motivated from self care and let go of people pleasing and guilt.

— Anne Rodic, Counselor in Pittsford, NY
 

If you are a people pleaser or put others needs above your own there's a good chance that you are struggling with codependent behavior. Codependents put all of their energy into taking care of others often at their own expense and with little in return. This kind of behavior is also common in relationships where domestic violence is involved. I am a recovering codependent and I can help you to identify some of these behaviors and work towards being more assertive.

— Christine Cuhaciyan, Counselor in Seattle, WA

I identify as a person in long-term recovery from codependency. I write, study, and lead groups and workshops on codependency recovery. I have worked with clients dealing with codependency for over seven years.

— D.J. Burr, Licensed Mental Health Counselor in , WA
 

I am Meadows Model and PIT trained in co-dependency and co-dependency recovery. I worked in a Meadows facility for nearly two years were I provided ongoing codependency treatment to individuals living with trauma and addiction.

— Alexandra Ludovina, Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Sunnyvale, CA

Anxiety keeps you hiding. Although, sometimes, you honestly don't know what you want. It just feels best to you when everyone around you is content, first. You often think about how you can make things better for other people because it makes you feel good. It's hard to think about doing things just for you; to make a plan around something you want for yourself. These thought habits are not bad and they helped you through your childhood, but it's ok to know your actual desires & plan for them.

— Randi Kofsky, Marriage & Family Therapist in Santa Monica, CA
 

Ditch the Codependence Label - It Does Note Define You! So many people are labeled with the term “codependence” these days. It’s a great buzz word and helps people know that they take care of people in relationships over themselves. Great…now what? I help people ditch this label and actually find out why it’s difficult for you to focus more on you and why it’s engrained in you to say no to yourself and yes to others.

— Melissa Barbash, Counselor in Denver, CO

Often with addiction comes codependency , I enjoy helping others identify their codependency and work through it

— Sara Farrell, Addictions Counselor in Creve Coeur, MO