Family Systems

In my work with families experiencing relational conflict, my clients find that employing an approach rooted in attachment theory allows me to help them learn about the communication patterns within the family unit. Through this work, members of the family typically report that they understand where their own communication patterns come from, how their family system operates as a whole, and their role in improving communication within that system.

The early years in which we are developing physically and emotionally are some of the most important years of our life. Because we usually spend this time with our families, family systems have a big effect on our future lives. Family systems work can happen with individual people processing their family of origin, with people in relationships with different family histories which are influencing their present actions, and with families who come to therapy together.

No matter where we come from, all family systems are complex. Our original families play a big part in our current families. Or maybe we are having a hard time creating the partnership or family we want now because of what we have been through in life. Exploring the historical components that impact our relationships is key to increasing our healthy functioning.

I am also trained in Family Systems and use this approach to help clients deal with family issues/concerns by helping them understand their roles in their families and learn how these roles affect the way they treat each other and experience the outside world.

You are NOT broken. We each of us are inherently whole *and* as part of the family systems in which we live (or have left/grown out of) – we develop over time, certain responses, internalized messages, and patterns. When faced with difficult situations, ill health, extreme stressors or trauma, our lives can feel broken. Together we can look to identify and adjust these patterned responses, activation triggers and processes.

You are NOT broken. We each of us are inherently whole *and* as part of the family systems in which we live (or have left/grown out of) – we develop over time, certain responses, internalized messages, and patterns. When faced with difficult situations, ill health, extreme stressors or trauma, our lives can feel broken. Together we can look to identify and adjust these patterned responses, activation triggers and processes.

I am trained in family systems (Bowenian) approaches to therapy. By examining the patterns within the family and across generations, we can bring insight into behaviors that may be holding us back. This approach is especially useful in communities of color given our desire to maintain strong multi-generational kinship networks.

Family systems therapy is a great way to improve how your family interacts and supports each other. By looking at how everyone fits together, it helps spot patterns that might be causing tension or conflict. This approach not only helps with individual issues but also boosts overall family communication and connection. In the end, it can lead to a happier, more harmonious family life.

General systems theory emphasizes that a group, family, or even individual cannot be wholly explained by looking at just one part or one angle of influence. We are not simply a combination of our circumstances, the same way that it is limiting to consider a single perspective. Yams is trained in considering the intersection of identities, communities, and overall society on the issues that arise in therapy and helping you navigate that web.

Through advanced training in Family Systems Theory, we explore your family of origin to examine long held beliefs and behaviors that have structured how we form relationships with ourselves and others. Assessing Adverse Childhood Events gives us insight into the psychological and sometimes physical ailments that can derail us in creating healthful well-being. So, “Tell me about your childhood” isn’t just a Freudian cliche, it helps identify those maladaptive beliefs that no longer serve us.

I have taken several trainings by top clinicians in the field and have integrated this approach into many of my sessions throughout my time as a counselor.

Systems Theory doesn't have to mean bringing in your entire family. A look at your family system gives info into how and why you are the cog shaped the way you are, just like in a clock. We look at how all the cogs work together & by changing only one of the cogs (you), all the others are affected. Understanding your family system and how you function(ed) in it is key to lasting change for yourself, since we tend to find people (or cogs) that looks just the ones we already know.

A guy goes to a therapist and says, "please help me, my brother thinks he's a chicken". The therapist says, "well, did you try telling him he's a human?" The guy says, "I would but we need the eggs." (Woody Allen)

In my work with families experiencing relational conflict, my clients find that employing an approach rooted in attachment theory allows me to help them learn about the communication patterns within the family unit. Through this work, members of the family typically report that they understand where their own communication patterns come from, how their family system operates as a whole, and their role in improving communication within that system.

Even if you are coming for individual or couples therapy, I believe that it is important to understand how your upbringing and family environment affects you now. My belief is that we can understand and, therefore, change the present moment when we understand its connection to our past beliefs and habits.

Families are complex systems with unique dynamics. At Relationships For Better, we specialize in understanding these intricacies, taking a practical approach to help families communicate better, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their bonds. Our method is holistic, considering each member's perspective while working towards a harmonious family environment, equipped with actionable solutions for everyday challenges.