I am easy to talk to and practical, while also intellectually rigorous and gently challenging.
Clinical Psychologist in Walnut Creek, CA
The level of devastation caused by the discovery of an affair is almost inconceivable. And then to consider the possibility of healing from this, whether the couple stays together or not, can seem insurmountable. It is a process that takes time, reflection, anger & self-esteem management, and eventually a conscious choice to move on, together or apart. You don't want to stay stuck in the pain. My experience will allow you to align yourself with your strength. You can be happy again!
The first step to healing from trauma is education about trauma reactions, sometimes in depth explorations of the myriad of ways this has impacted you. People often feel scared by their reactions and they need to know that they are "normal reactions to abnormal circumstances". Then learning to cope, to re-establish your ability to have healthy relationships, and ultimately to "grow" from your trauma. You do not need to identify as a perpetually damaged person. I can help you live at peace.
One of the most intransigent problems with depression is that it convinces you that nothing will help. Somewhere along the way you learned that you "are a depressed person" or that there is something about you that warrants feeling depressed, and hopeless. I can help you understand the way that depression has taken over your life and how you can fight back!
Acknowledging that our past impacts our present is one of the most basic keys to understanding human nature. We don't have to spend years exploring your childhood but without acknowledging this inherent relationship, we significantly undermine therapeutic efficacy. We need to understand how the different parts of your "psyche" interact, how they help or hinder you, how they came in to being in the first place (from your history), and what conflict exists between them.
Working with addiction is about accepting who you are while also asking you to change. People with addictions are blamed, and yes you need to be held responsible, but you also need to find the part of yourself that knows that you didn't consciously choose this for yourself and they you want better...in spite of all of the evidence others have of you being selfish, uncaring, and irresponsible.
Working with addiction is about accepting who you are while also asking you to change. People with addictions are blamed, and yes you need to be held responsible, but you also need to find the part of yourself that knows that you didn't consciously choose this for yourself and that you want better for yourself and others...in spite of all of the evidence others have of you being selfish, uncaring, and irresponsible.
Working with trauma involves dealing with specific symptoms associated with being traumatized as well as dealing with ways you have learned to cope with stress/distress. Often those people who didn't have supportive, nurturing childhoods find it harder to cope with trauma. So we work in the present (coping skills, meaning making, self-advocacy) & work in the past (processing childhood trauma/abuse, building resilience, learning how to nurture yourself and establishing close safe relationships).