Renya NeoNorton (they/them)

The early years in which we are developing physically and emotionally are some of the most important years of our life. Because we usually spend this time with our families, family systems have a big effect on our future lives. Family systems work can happen with individual people processing their family of origin, with people in relationships with different family histories which are influencing their present actions, and with families who come to therapy together.

Individual people and communities of all sizes understand their identity and purpose via the stories they tell. Narrative theory is about unpacking the stories we tell about ourselves and where they come from, societal stories, family stories, community stories. It's about actively choosing what stories we want to tell in the future. My practice of narrative therapy is informed by the work of Black feminists like The Combahee River Collective, Octavia Butler, and Toni Morrison.

I know firsthand how hard it is to be in relationships differently from the norm. People are constantly doubting the legitimacy of your relationship, plus it’s difficult to connect with people when you’re something of a trailblazer. You’re opening up new possibilities. As exciting as that is, be also prepared for challenges! They’re challenges of your choosing and there’s something special and authentic about that.

Trauma doesn't come from nowhere. It is tied to family, community, and national history. It is connected to the long and many faceted systemic oppression that causes so much trauma. For me, most trauma is connected to the intergenerational. This is why in my work with clients I connect present experiences of symptoms related to trauma to past relationships, family history, community history, and more.

In my experience as a nonbinary and transgender therapist, I’ve learned that gender issues impact us all. Addressing these issues is a collaborative effort, not a competitive one. Whether your own process with gender centers around identity exploration, presentation and being perceived, gender roles and expectations, or support in being your authentic self – these are things we struggle with in all genders in our own ways.

A lot of the time, people might feel like they can't point to any "real trauma" yet they experience symptoms in line with trauma. Trauma is not just limited to one event: it often comes from our experiences embedded in our environments. This means that there is no simple beginning, middle, and end to our trauma stories. They're complex and layered. Trauma therapy for me is about honoring the complexity, the messiness, the grief of it all. It is central to the work that I do.

Intergenerational trauma can be a difficult subject to talk about, because it involves naming how our family and community members have reenacted their traumas. There doesn’t need to be blame associated with naming the presence of intergenerational trauma. It will continue to be present in every generation until someone is ready to interrupt the cycle. This can involve healing together and/or naming boundaries. In some cases it means going no contact with our family or community members.